I starve myself because…
It feels like as im shedding the weight im shedding all of the toxic parts of my life and starting over.
Thinspo because I can’t save it to my phone:)
Fallow my main account - hcalih
It feels like as im shedding the weight im shedding all of the toxic parts of my life and starting over.
• Using the gift receipts on all the clothes you get this holiday season cause they’re all too big
• Being able to squeeze by people (this is huge for me cause I hate being touched)
• Curling up on a couch, hugging your knees to your chest without looking like a ball of fat
• when spring comes around and you start wearing short sleeves again, people will be amazed and shocked
• packing for college will be easier, since all my clothes will be smaller
• //going// to college and being hot as shit
• starting new, and being the fun loving skinny kid on campus NOT the pathetic fat kid
• not being the Designated Ugly Fat Friend ^tm
• pretty delicate fingers that look amazing when doing sign language
• a killer jaw line that makes my short hair look amazing
imagine how pretty rings will look on your skinny fingers, that food that you’re thinking about will hinder your progress of getting to that aesthetic you oh so wish you had
Being the smallest friend in the friend group makes me feel so much better about myself
It’s your first week at the University. You’ve worked so hard all summer, this is your year. No more high school problems, you’re surrounded by all new people who never knew you as the fat artsy girl who never spoke up in class. Months of hard work, exercising every day and controlling what you ate and you did it. You have lost all the weight and are the version of yourself you always dreamed of. You are in control of who you are here. It is a fresh start and you are exactly where you want to be and finally who you want to be.
Your new roommate is nice enough, you two bonded immediately and did everything together in those first days. Sarah’s her name, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with fair skin and a banging bod, the perfect opposite to your long chestnut hair and olive skin. Your dorm is tiny but perfect for the two of you. Your beds are bunked to save space and you got the top. When you wake you swing your tiny legs over the edge with ease and gracefully climb down. Sarah’s still asleep but you enjoy waking early and getting your day moving. You make your way to the girls shared bathroom and take a look at yourself in the mirror. Your long hair is tousled and tangled but you still look cute. Your skin has cleared immensely over the summer and your newly discovered cheekbones are strong and defined. The hours in the gym has toned your muscles just to your liking so you look dainty but fit. Your collarbones are sharp and fully visible. As you shower the water pools in the little wells there. Your towel is now huge on you, like wrapping up in a giant fluffy cloud as you peer at your tiny frame in the steamed up mirror. You don’t even question it any more you know you’ve surpassed your ultimate goal weight.
Some girls enter the bathroom as you’re brushing out your hair. You feel their eyes boring into your back, hot with envy as they pass. One of them complements the nail polish color on your toes. Girls are always complementing you these days. In high school it was like you were completely invisible, but now you’re competition to them and they notice. You look down at your shower shoes still wrapped in just a towel and thank the girl sweetly. You always make time for pedicures these days, self care is important. You finish your make up and head back to your room to get dressed.
Walking to your first class with Sarah the air is brisk and the wind is blowing. Your wearing a chunky sweater and leggings and still look tiny in it. You get cold so easily these days, you clutch warm black coffee from the campus Starbucks in your long skinny fingers to keep warm. Some frat boys standing in a group eye you both as you approach. One of them leans in and nudges another whispering something to him as they both look in your direction. In high school this would’ve made you self conscious, wonder what they were criticizing or making fun of you. Now you can see they are not criticizing anything at all. You roll your eyes and giggle with Sarah as you see one of the boys break off from the group and make his way toward you. Men are predictable creatures. He’s handsome alright, with honey blonde hair that falls in his eyes and broad shoulders that look like they could wrap you up and make you feel small and safe. Your tiny compared to him, he looks safe and strong. He smiles at you with an adorable crooked grin. His friend runs up and winks at Sarah. Tall blonde boy invites you both to their fraternity’s first party of the year later that evening and gives you the address. You smile and twirl your hair around a long dainty finger. You and Sarah promise to consider their offer and walk off in order to not be late for class. You have to make a good first impression after all. You glance over your shoulder and see the boys watching you and Sarah leave, both their mouths slightly slack jawed as you go. You smile to yourself, you think you’re going to like it here.
